Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
