I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
