The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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