Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
