Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
