i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize