is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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