It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
