On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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