Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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