I think my vagina is haunted
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
