boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
