its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Still dying that you shit outside
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
