She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
