His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You made out with two different species that night
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
