WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
