Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
