): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
