She announced her abortion via fbk
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
