apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
