Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
