so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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