and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
