He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize