'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Drunk is a universal language darling
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