Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
