that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He felt like a one man threesome
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
