Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
ttyl tear gas
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize