guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
