i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i now understand why vodka
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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