I'm pants shitting drunk right now
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
they're like a gay fantastic four
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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