I bet he comes in French.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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