it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
