I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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