I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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