You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
