so explain again why im purple
no
He is an equal opportunity slut.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
