I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
