Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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