I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She even gives head with a lisp.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize