Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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