apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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