My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
