question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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