Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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