This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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