my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
