I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
