just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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