I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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