I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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