I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
