News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
