he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
