I'm so fucking centered right now
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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