oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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