just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
