I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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