he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
