I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
That accounts for only three of the penises
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize