she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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