look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My vagina is very pro this idea
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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