my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
