I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
