I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize