very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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