I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
