last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Its about making memories worth repressing
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
