Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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