there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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