Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
