We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
