i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
