Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
