I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize